Merry Christmas!

I love Christmas. Adam has likened our home to Santa puking (or some such thing) in years past. Apparently this year it's just right. The thing I love most about Christmas is giving people things. I love trying to find the perfect gift for someone. This isn't always an easy task to be sure. But I think I did alright this year. We'll find out over the next 24 hours or so.

The kids were here for a bit yesterday. Kids tend to rejuvenate us during this time of year. The cooking, the cleaning, the shopping, the snow....all of these things can stress an adult out. But for a kid, there is pure unadulterated excitement about the coming holiday. And sure, it's all selfish excitement. They're excited about what they're going to get. But seeing Dante and Sophia tearing ass all over the house yesterday made me smile.

So as I continue to clean the house and I prep the food for tonight, I will remember how lucky I am to have the family and friends that I do. And I will also appreciate that we are able to get together and celebrate...that by and large, we are not separated by distance this year.

So to all of you, I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Try to approach the day as if you were 6 and convinced that all is right with the world.

Inappropriate love

Last week a couple faculty members were in town to work with me on the definition of a new degree program. I can't say anymore than that. Insider trading and all that. I have enough problems. In any case, I have worked closely with these two individuals on previous projects and we have an excellent working relationship. One of these faculty members is Gary. Gary is a Faculty Chair (Capella's equivalent of a department head). Gary has been exceptionally supportive of my work towards my PhD and regularly refers to me as "Dr. Luopa" because he feels that if we say it, it will happen.

In any case, on Thursday morning I was in the conference room with the woman who will work on this degree program with us and we were waiting for the faculty members to arrive. When Gary walked in the door, I received the customary boisterous greeting (with a "Dr. Luopa" thrown in for good measure). What was not customary was the kiss on the top of my head. What?! It's true. Gary kissed the top of my head much like you'd expect a Grandpa to do. Very weird but very, very funny.

An ode to Phil

Oh how I adore thee. Let me count the ways.

1. Memories of many afternoons watching Clue and Labyrinth always make me smile.
2. CD upon CD upon CD upon magazine cut-outs across your dorm room wall. Genius.
3. Mixed CDs just for me with songs with lines like "I wanna do bad things with you."
4. Pancakes.
5. Light up snowmen ornaments that are so wonderful, the battery dies.
6. Chester Bowl, Eagle's Ridge (or whatever it's called), and trips to Gooseberry where we all tried too hard to be intellectual and (phil)osophical.
7. The way we started the bromance between our significant others.
8. Duplexes!
9. Our obsession with "Is the day over yet?" and "Who wants to blow off work today?" and never actually following through.
10. My goal to run a 5k. Your goal to run a marathon. Does our greatness show? Well mine doesn't because you want to run 26 miles. I want to run 3.
11. Blogs dedicated to one another and your commitment to finding all of the great status comments in a given day or week and showcasing them for all to see.
12. Making bad decisions with money. It is in this that we truly bond.

You, my dear, are truly s'wonderful. I am not good enough for you.

The stupid things stupid people say

I will start this post by saying that I am utterly and completely plagiarising an article on MSN. I do this because I can't improve upon it. I only give credit here.

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) -- Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines is the target of a defamation lawsuit by the stepfather of one of three 8-year-old boys slain in 1993.

Maines spoke out for three people convicted of the slayings and alleged the stepfather was instead involved in the killings.

Terry Hobbs, stepfather of Steve Branch, who was killed in 1993 with Christopher Byers and Michael Moore, filed suit in Pulaski County Circuit Court on Nov. 25. The suit names all three members of the Dixie Chicks, but focuses on Maines.

The suit seeks compensatory and punitive damages. Hobbs claims he suffered loss of income, injury to his reputation and emotional distress.

((Okay, why does Natalie Maines even have an opinion? Why do people care? Why won't she keep her mouth shut???))

Hobbs told the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette in a Feb. 1 interview that his reputation was in tatters and he wanted to clear his name.

"I want people to know I haven't done nothing wrong," Hobbs said. "I want them to hear it from me."

((I love the double negative!))

Housewives

There are many things in this world that never seem to surprise me. Like people at work blaming me for their mistakes or the inevitable phone calls where I'm getting screamed at and the only words I can make out are profane and strung together in a haphazard fashion. The crazy thing is, every once in awhile someone says or does something that seems so incredibly unbelievable that my jaw drops and I am rendered speechless. I know, right? Me? Speechless?

Alas, what prompted this blog...

...my sister referring to herself as a "housewife." The girl that forty years ago would have burned her bra. Who loves to break the rules. Who is as independent as they come. She gets married and suddenly she's a housewife? More power to her. Just surprises me.

Being thankful

On this Thanksgiving night, it seems only appropriate to look back on the past year and count my blessings because there are many.

1. My family. Every year I am blessed enough to count the people with whom I surround myself as one of my most treasured "possessions." I have a doting husband who shows me everyday what it means to love someone else completely; who supports me in everything I do; who makes me laugh everyday. I know, gag me. I also have an incredible kid who is smart, well-behaved, and pretty dang amazing. I have parents who love me and a surrounding family, blood relations and in-laws, who make me happy.

2. My friends. Oh what an odd group of misfits you are. Each one provides something different that adds fun and laughter to my life. Some of you make me giggle like a 12 year old girl and others of you make me groan like the old lady I am. Whatever it may be, I'm so glad to call you a friend.

3. My job. So many people are being laid off or are miserable in their jobs. While I'm not always thrilled about it, I am thankful that I am employed and valued at work. At times, it even challenges me. And really, short of winning the lottery and not having to work at all, I've got it good.

4. My home. While things didn't go as planned, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and a few extra bucks to make bad decisions with. Not bad. Better than most.

5. The best is yet to come. And yes, this I am thankful for too. 2009 promises to be an amazing year in the Luopa household and I'm blessed to know that there are great things coming.

So to those few who read this, I hope you have counted your blessings too. And I hope you know that you're one of mine.

My dog who thinks he's a cat

Oh how I love my puppy. He's the best form of relaxation after a long day at work. His cuddles and his desire to play fetch constantly with his own puppy make me smile. Sometimes I think he's a tad bit confused regarding his species. At times I find him running across the back of the couch. Other times, when playing fetch, watching him pounce is pretty cute too. But last night took the cake. I was vaguely aware of him walking across the bed along my body. It seemed he was checking out what I had sitting on my nightstand. But then, as I drifted back to sleep, he decided it was time to lay down. So he sat. On my face. And I sat up sputtering and tasting puppy fur butt.

Oh how I love him.

My 5 strengths

It's that time of year again when annual planning takes hold of every organization and everyone awaits with bated breath to see if toilet paper will indeed be stocked in 2009. What also happens this time of year is professional development and performance planning. You know what I'm talking about. Every organization calls them something different. Mine calls them objectives. What do I want to accomplish, professionally, in 2009. As has already been established in previous posts, I have A LOT of personal things I want to accomplish but now I have to put my worker bee hat on and write yet another list.

As part of this exercise, we were all given the book "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton (that probably wasn't APA but I'm on strike, damnit!). If you haven't read it, you should. You can borrow mine. Or, go get your own copy so you can actually take the strengths finder quiz. Which I took. Which is the purpose of this blog.

What are my strengths, you ask? Well, I got my top 5 and they are actually in a specific order (strongest on down). So allow me to commit plagiarism and share my report with you.

Strategic

The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path—your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike.

Ideation

You are fascinated by ideas. What is an idea? An idea is a concept, the best explanation of the most events. You are delighted when you discover beneath the complex surface an elegantly simple concept to explain why things are the way they are. An idea is a connection. Yours is the kind of mind that is always looking for connections, and so you are intrigued when seemingly disparate phenomena can be linked by an obscure connection. An idea is a new perspective on familiar challenges. You revel in taking the world we all know and turning it around so we can view it from a strange but strangely enlightening angle. You love all these ideas because they are profound, because they are novel, because they are clarifying, because they are contrary, because they are bizarre. For all these reasons you derive a jolt of energy whenever a new idea occurs to you. Others may label you creative or original or conceptual or even smart. Perhaps you are all of these. Who can be sure? What you are sure of is that ideas are thrilling. And on most days this is enough.

Input

You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Achiever

Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day—workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.

So, are we surprised by these? Not me so much. And actually, it was kind of fun to see the report considering some of the questions were very oddly worded. You had to rate yourself on a spectrum with a statement on each end. Essentially, which one describes you better. But here's the thing. I didn't always appreciate their "opposites." Take for example one question where on one end of the spectrum it said "I like to relax" and on the other it said "I like to clean." While funny, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. And there were a lot like that.

Anyway, based upon this output, I need to develop a professional development plan for 2009. I wonder if I can include a raise and bonuses under "achiever"...

The finalized list!

With tomorrow being the 6 months mark before my 30th birthday, it's time to finalize The List. In no particular order, they are:

1. Run a 5k. Specifically the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k on May 10, 2009. Yes, it's cutting it close. Yes, that's on purpose.

2. Complete, and pass, my comprehensive exam. Theoretically I should be lots farther than that by then but this will be the easiest milestone to measure.

3. Have brunch in my jammies. With Phil. Because that's how we roll. And it's the only truly fun thing on this list.

4. Quit smoking. Preferably sooner rather than later. Plan is currently being devised. Stay tuned.

5. Lose more weight. While embarrassing to admit, I'm going to. My goal is to hit "onederland" by my birthday. Yes, that means changing that first number.

Truthfully, I think 5 items is enough. Especially when there are such big items as these. You'll notice I removed skinny dipping. While still a goal of something to do in my life, it's not practical to try and do it during the winter in order to hit my birthday. We want the list to be challenging but attainable. This one didn't meet those requirements.

Aaaannnndddd we're off!

Committee member #2!

Ah, even in one day serious progress can be made! I found out this morning that the second faculty member I asked to serve on my dissertation committee has agreed. That's two down...one to go. Now I just need to decide who I am going to ask for the third spot. I have an idea but I am not sure that she even does that kind of thing due to her position here at Capella. But as Adam says, the worst she can say is no.

The Dissertation Committee!

Every learner writing a dissertation is required to have a dissertation committee. The committee is made up of 3 faculty members who read, review, and provide feedback on the various chapters and milestones of the dissertation. It is this committee that eventually authorizes the doctorate (we hope). So today I heard back from the individual I asked to serve as my mentor. The mentor is one member of the committee who chairs the work and is the final sign off for all milestones. She has agreed to serve as my mentor and I am thrilled! It is another hurdle in this process that I have passed so I can move onto the next. I have already sent an email to the second potential committee member in hopes she will accept. I'm still considering the third. The third member is a "special" role. This person is considered a "visiting scholar" and does not need to have expertise in my chosen field. There are a lot of opportunities to choose someone with some complimentary experiences and ideas. One person I have in mind is another woman. Is there a risk or...perhaps better put...a miss if I don't include a male perspective? There is more to be considered. But yay!

Signs of the times

Disclaimer: The information contained in this post is the sole opinion of the author. It is not assumed nor is it expected that the opinions are shared by the readers.

Yeah Obama! What a thrill to have played a role in the election of our 44th president! Yes, I am an Obama supporter and today I feel that change has come to America. Yes we did!

But in the midst of this historic victory were some failures. And not to downplay the victory, for me it is only right to give a little attention to the injustices that happened on election day 2008.

In the state of California, Proposition 8 may well have passed. This proposition was to overturn the state supreme court decision to allow gay marriage. Approximately 3 million absentee ballots remain to be counted but as of now, the vote counts at 52% to 48% in favor of overturning the decision. I heard, from a friend, that there may be an issue for same sex couples that were married in the state while it was legal. Apparently there may be a question as to whether those unions will be recognized. I, however, was not able to verify if that is true or not.

In the state of Arkansas, where same sex marriage is already banned, has now banned adoption and foster parenting to those who are single or in same sex relationships. The question for this blogger is what will happen to those single or gay individuals that have already adopted or are currently foster parents.

In the state of Florida, the ballot approved an amendment to the state constitution to limit marriage to opposite sex couples and to ban civil unions.

In the state of Arizona, an amendment to the state constitution was also approved to limit marriage to opposite sex couples.

Sorry folks, but this is what's wrong with this country. All couples, regardless of sexual orientation, should have the right to marry. This isn't only about gay rights (but yes, those are important too) but also about equality and the sheer unimportance of sexual orientation to the act of loving and marrying. This is not a government issue. And I hope that this will be one of the changes I see in my lifetime...preferrably sooner rather than later.

So way to go, America! One major step to change, acceptance, and true equality. But we're not there yet.

A snapshot in time...

...things I'm excited about today!

1. Realizing this morning that I now weigh almost 10 lbs less than the weight mini-goal I was so excited to hit.
2. Also realizing this morning that I weigh almost 20 lbs less than my original 10% goal…something I had never hit before.
3. Having the same frustrations every morning - I don't know what to wear because nothing fits and I hate it all. (It's a nice problem to have.)
4. Paying only $22 to fill the Jetta up with gas this morning.
5. Voting! Change! Getting a sticker!

That is all.

Quilting

On Monday, November 10th my parents will celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary! And being the sentimental schlub I am, I thought this was an event that needed to be commemorated in some way. I've been pondering this for over a year and decided that I would make them a memory quilt that in some small way gave a snapshot of those 30 years. Of course, I didn't start the quilt until I had only 5 days to do it. :)

I am a sometime quilter. I learned a little about quilting from my psycho roommate in college. It started out easy enough. Lap-sized quilts of equal size squares. Pretty straight forward and something to cut my teeth on. Then I got rather...overzealous. My Mom had been a runner earlier in my life and had saved many of her race t-shirts for a quilt she would make or have made "someday." I decided I could handle this challenge. And, I was wrong. Yes, I made the quilt. Yes, she loved it as only a mother can. And yes, it still hangs in her house today. But it hangs there sadly, a constant reminder of my shame, as it hangs kiddie wompus on the wall. Ugh. She won't let me fix it.

So in honor of the anniversary, I was going to do a memory quilt which is defined by having pictures. And a friend of mine shared with me a design for a quilt. And this wasn't squares. This was triangles and "stars" and all kinds of challenging stuff. And to add more complexity, I had taken her stained wedding dress she was about to throw out 18 months ago with plans to incorporate the fabric into the quilt. And I did. And it turned out pretty damn well. Now, I look at that quilt and see all of my mistakes but Adam assures me that no one else sees them. She loved it. My Dad loved it. And it will soon grace the wall in their bedroom. And I won't be so embarrassed.

Big milestone today!

Today a special letter came to me in the mail. It was a congratulations card from Capella. It seems that my audit request was received and conducted and it was found that I have completed all required coursework and will be ready to begin the comprehensive exam in January as was planned.

While it was expected, it was an odd experience for me. I pulled the card out of the envelope and on the front it said "You dreamed. You learned. You persevered." and as far as I'm concerned, truer words have never been spoken. It's been a long road and while I haven't reached the finish line yet, I can see it. When I opened it, I teared up a little. There was something especially poignant about reading it. About realizing how far I have come and what a big deal this really is. Maybe every once in awhile, I should step back and pat myself on the back for how far I've come. Just give myself a chance to really fully realize what I've done instead of constantly plowing again with little to no retrospection.

In any case, almost there!

Blargh!

I have nothing in particular to discuss. I felt it was time to do a random smattering of the annoyances that cause me to lie awake at night and eat a little too much ice cream.

1. Audits. No, not audits from the IRS (I hope they'd send Condor!) but rather educational audits. Those nasty things where someone wearing an early '90s track suit and sitting in the basement does their voodoo and decides whether I have actually taken all of the classes I've needed to take and gotten the grades I've needed to get. You see, this audit is the hurdle I need to jump over before I can start the comprehensive exam. And I submitted the request two weeks ago. Where is it?!

2. Classes that don't apply to you. You know what I'm talking about. You have to take the class otherwise the aforementioned audit isn't going to go down so well. But you find, early on, that this class is not going to help you one ounce when it comes to writing your chapter 3.

3. Lunch time nazi's. You know who you are. I realize I'm eating my lunch at my desk. I also realize that clearly, this desk is for working. And I also realize that you have a work-related question with a 15 minute explanation that has to occur. But could you wait until I finish my lunch?

4. 24 hours. Who decided that a day should be 24 hours? Why not 30? Or even 15? I recommend that we change a day to 30 hours. Especially in the winter. And the added 6 hours is for sleep only.

5. 5 day work weeks. And who in the hell decided this? Let's work for 5 days and then give ourselves 2 days off. That seems balanced. NOT.

The bucket list

I've made a decision over the last week or so. It was a tough one. Not because it's not something I want to do (Lord, I want to do it!) but because it will be the most challenging and therefore, will have the highest possibility of failure. And I don't want to fail.

I have made an addition to the "before I am 30" list and the addition is this: quit smoking. Ah, what a wonderful ideal. I am thrilled at the idea of kicking the filthy habit. Oh the money we'll save! We won't be social pariahs anymore! We'll feel so much better (especially through winter colds)!

But don't get me wrong.

I like to smoke. I really do. There's nothing better than a cigarette after dinner. That relaxing nicotine fix that makes all those endorphins dance happily in my brain. I like the excuse to get up from my desk in the middle of the day. Colleague pissing you off? Go smoke! I swear, it is because of cigarettes that I'm not already in prison. I like cruising down the highway with the radio blaring and the window open as I flick my ashes out into oblivion. Ahhhh the release.

So you can see why this will be a challenge. I don't have a plan...yet. I'm going to devise a handy dandy plan that will allow me to quit at a slow pace...cold turkey just doesn't work for me. Maybe training for that 5K will help a little too. :)

So consider yourselves forewarned. If I'm grumpier than usual, perhaps the lack of nicotine is the culprit. But I promise you, someday I'll find something else to get the endorphins flowing...hopefully it won't be food.

Halloween 2008

Apparently I have a thing for pictures recently. But really, there's no other way to tell the story of how we spent Halloween 2008. I don't know what was better - when I accidentally punched my extremely inebriated husband in the junk, or when...oh wait. I think that was the best. So enjoy. And remember, when confronted with this crew, beware.

She so CRAZY!

Just a few more pictures to add some life to the blogosphere. It is Jenny (aka Phil) doing a montage cut short by...I don't know. She was just done.


Oh and look! Now there IS a picture of us together!

...and they lived happily ever after!

So it's been awhile since I last blogged but that's because it's been a busy couple of weeks. Last weekend was the wedding and it was beautiful! Everything went off without a hitch (and this is where Adam chimes in and says "Of course there was a hitch....Kari and Eli got married!). In any event, I thought I would share some photos from the event.

Mom helping Kari into the dress.

My boys waiting for the ceremony to start. Aren't they cute?!

Gettin' hitched.


Some of our family partying at the reception.
(Jamie, Mary, Andrea, and Brent)

Kari, Corey, and Britt after a knockin' a few back.

Condor. Undercover.

Kari and Aoife.

Weddings

I am long overdue for a blog and with my little sister's nuptials a mere five days away, it seemed only fitting to look back on my own wedding day.

May 24, 2003
It was a beautiful spring day. One of those days that is a sunny, warm reminder of the summer that is just around the corner. It was Memorial Day weekend and our families were in town to share the day with us. Everything went off without a hitch because that's how I roll. It was exactly as I pictured it. I could wax poetic about love and romance but, well, that's not how I roll. Instead, I would like to regale you with the stories of the day that stick out in my mind.

1. I remember getting ready. My hair and make-up were done and it was time to put on the dress. My Mom was helping me. Once it was on and zipped up, I turned around just as my cousin walked into the room. She took one look at me and started crying. Then we were all crying.

2. Prior to the ceremony, my Mom had brought sub sandwiches for the wedding party to eat. I remember walking down to the room with the sandwiches - absolutely famished - to find that the wedding party had eaten them all leaving none for the bride. :p

3. During the ceremony as Adam and I lit the unity candle that would signify our life together, Dante rolled around on the floor "breakdancing." All I can remember wondering was what it meant for your marriage if your soon-to-be stepson kicked the unity candle over as you lit it.

4. As couples do, we said vows to one another. Neither one of us teared up. And then I said vows to Dante. It was important to the both of us that we recognize the family we were becoming and it was important to me that I recognize the fact that I was becoming a mother. As I repeated the words of the minister, Dante very carefully watched me. He didn't even break eye contact. During the last phrase, my voice started to crack with emotion. After the vows were complete, I leaned in (as did Dante who was being held by his Dad) and we gave each other a kiss. Everyone in the church - in unison, mind you - went "awww". I was told later, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

5. After the ceremony Adam and I along with our parents lined up to greet the guests as they exited the church. My sister stood behind me bustling the train on my dress and people milled about. About halfway through the line, someone tapped me on the shoulder (honestly, I don't remember who) and chuckled and pointed out the window. There, playing in the rocks with his cousin was Dante (age 4, barely) playing with a dead bird. In his tiny tux.

6. Our reception took place at a golf course. As we were dancing, visiting, and hanging out we were approached by Dante's mother. It seems he had wandered out onto the driving range to pick up the golf balls. People were still playing. She told us we needed to go watch him. At our wedding.

There are so many more memories. Our first dance when it felt a bit like a junior high dance. The father daughter dance when all I could do was giggle as my Dad spun me around the floor. I remember getting to the hotel afterwards and Adam and I pulling hundreds of bobby pins out of my hair.

I remember all of these things but mostly, I remember that I married my best friend. I'm truly blessed and I wish the same for my sister.

My dog...the one who stops loving me 6 days a month

So I have the most adorable puppy in the world. He was, in truth, the bestest birthday present I ever did get! He was the runt of the litter but I immediately wanted to bring him home. He was pretty docile in that little pen with his brothers and sisters. He swaggered over to us and gave a couple kisses. Then he sat and just looked up at us. I'm convinced to this very day that he wasn't sure what to make of those two legged dogs on the other side of the pen. As his brothers and sisters jumped and barked and leapt over him as he sat, he continued to just stare. Occasionally, he'd cock his head and try to figure out why our barks were so different. I scooped him up and brought him home talking nonstop and happily over MY new puppy. MINE. From day one I was adamant with my dear husband of how this dog was MINE and he would love me BEST. And that was true. Once we brought him home over the course of the first few days, he opened up and started to figure out what life was like in a home. And we showered one another with affection.

And then Dante came over.

Zeus...the big one...was always Adam's dog. Continues to be Adam's dog. And he loves me...no doubt about that. But if the house was burning while we slept and he could only wake one of us up, it would be Adam. Not even Dante. Because truth be told, Zeus isn't big on kids. Never has been. He tolerates them and will even cuddle on occasion and is certainly kind. But if given the choice, there would never be a child anywhere near him. He's just not into be harassed and having his tail and ears pulled. I don't understand why.

But Tuck. Well, Tuck loves kids. Loves that they squeak and run around aimlessly. Loves that they wrestle with him, play with his rope, and pet him incessantly. When Dante comes over every two weeks for 3 days at a time, he is in heaven. And I am chopped liver. And that my friends, is the point of this story. For 6 days a month, Tuck stops loving me. I don't get kisses or cuddles anymore. He doesn't crawl up and into my lap but instead, jumps into Dante's to play, to cuddle, to maul. And when Dante leaves at the end of those 3 days, he crawls into my lap to sleep.

And I always let him.

Educational Research: Planning, Conducting, and Evaluating Quantitative and Qualitative Research

That is the name of my text book for my next course, Advanced Study in Research Methods. Overwhelming, no?

The course starts on Monday but being the uber-good learner that I am, I'm starting it today. In the first unit/week, I have to read ten chapters, two websites, install software, view a video, and post three discussion questions and responses. This course is not for the faint at heart. Ideally, courses should require approximately 10 hours of work on the part of the learner per week. Seeing as how each of those chapters and discussion questions would be estimated at 2 hours, well, it's a tad over the baseline. But that's okay. I mean, with a course that gives an relatively complete overview of both major types of research, you can expect to have a lot of work to do. Most courses have 2-4 assignments over the course of a 10 week quarter. This course has nine. Nine assignments - most involving statistical analysis. For those of you who don't know, I (quite literally) cried my way through my undergraduate statistics course. It has now become a thing of legend how I went into the final exam with a 46% and somehow got a C in the course. Clearly, I got 150% on the final exam. :p

I'm going to spend my day doing the following:

1. State the research topic or problem and write a brief summary of the topic and why I am interested in the topic.
2. Write two purpose statements for the research topic - quantitative and qualitative.
3. Write two research questions that address the research purposes - quantitative and qualitative.
4. Write a hypothesis for the quantitative research question.
5. Identify the variables for both research questions. For the quantitative research question, identify the independent and dependent variables
6. Identify the population to be researched for the quantitative approach and identify the purposeful sample to be researched in the qualitative approach.

Ideally, I should be able to tailor the assignments of the course to the topic and research question I want to answer in my dissertation. So while this course, in and of itself, is difficult, I am essentially beginning my dissertation now too. Should be an interesting quarter to say the least.

The master to do list

In honor of my upcoming 30th birthday, I felt it was time to commit to "paper" my personal goals. In no particular order...

1. Run a 5k. I know. Pure insanity. I'm not even sure a serial rapist wielding a knife could get me to run. And yet, I want to do it. I have no grandiose dreams of doing more races after that. I just want to be able to say I've done it. And I know I already have others who want to do it with me (not to say that they haven't already experienced this hell). Shout out to Jenny, Jason, Adam, and my Mama. Anyone else?

2. Complete (and pass) my comprehensive exam. This is part one of the dissertation process to complete my PhD. This is also part of my larger goal to earn my PhD in 2009. I've never really figured out why I'm doing this but at this point, I'm going to push ahead hard and fast! (That's what she said!)

3. Go skinny dipping. I know, I know. I have reached the ripe old age of 29 without ever having skinny dipped. What's worse is that with a birthday in May, I will have to accomplish this over the winter. I welcome ideas on how to do this without overly embarrassing or freezing myself!

4. Have brunch in my jammies. Courtesy of dear 'ol Phil. It is just that. Out in public looking like it's one of those hazing things you did in high school where you yank someone out of bed and let them do little more than pee and brush their teeth.

5. Lose another 40 lbs. 'Nuff said.

6. ???

I welcome your submissions for additions to the list. Is there such a thing as a list that is too long? Probably but thankfully, I don't think we're there yet.

Feng shui and other annoying 2000-isms

I've never been big on the feng shui revolution. A few years back, people made such a big deal out of the placement of furniture for proper chi flow (or somesuch nonsense). Thing is, I don't know why I didn't get into it. Maybe it was too new age-y for me. Whatever the case, I've always really enjoyed placing furniture and moving it around every so often even for the fun of it. And when we moved into this place, I just really didn't like how we placed the furniture. We only have cable wired in on one side of the living room, the room is shaped like a rectangle (which never seems to work right for me, and the fireplace is at an angle which on its own is visually pleasing, is a nightmare for placing anything else in the room. But now I just view it as a challenge. I'm going to break out the super long cable cord and I'm going to put the TV wherever I want it. I'm going to try something new. I'm going to prepare a place for our Christmas tree (only a couple of months now!). And if the flow of chi improves, well then that's just icing on the cake!

Why do I always say no?

Being a step mom is hard. There are a lot of reasons that it is hard. At this particular time, it is hard not because of the interesting dynamic between step mom and biological mom or because of the small amount of time you get to spend with the kid. No, it's hard because of all the times you have to say "no."

I'm not really one of those parents who gets a kick out of saying no. And I admit that I probably say no at times when really, it would be just as easy to say yes. I'm still trying to work out that ever-elusive balance that I'm quite sure my parents struggled with as well.

Yesterday the D man called and asked for his Dad. Since Adam was unable to come to the phone, I guess I was an okay second choice. He asked if he could bring his GameCube to his Mom's house because he's "there more." Here's the thing. Last Christmas, there was nothing he wanted more than a Nintendo GameCube. And yes, the irony is not lost on me that of everything, all he wanted was an obsolete video game system that you can't even buy new anymore. So I hunted around for a used system and some games. I bought extra controllers so he could play with his friends. I got him the whole dang set up (because when you're buying used, you can really go all out!). And I got to experience one of those moments that happens less and less often the older he gets - the utter, sheer enjoyment and excitement when he opened the box and realized he got EXACTLY what he wanted!!! Fast forward to present day. He still loves the GameCube...in fact, when allowed, it's all he does when he's at our house. But I just couldn't let him take it to his Mom's. Little by little he tries to move everything he likes from our house to hers and soon, he won't have anything to do at our house. Yes, I'm flattered that all of his "good stuff" is at our house but it's expensive enough trying to outfit one home for him...I can't afford to outfit two.

So alas, I had to say no. However, I reminded him that he's always welcome to come over more often so he can play it. Clearly I'm not opposed to bribery and other trickery just to get him a little more often. I was not his favorite person last night. Neither was his father when he talked to him later and backed me up (for the record, I'm pretty sure Adam would have let him take it had Dante gotten to him first).

Maybe I'm being selfish. They are HIS toys after all. They were gifts. Part of me totally gets it that maybe he should get to decide where they reside. But I also have the ability to see into the future and it's quite obvious that before too long, there would be nary a stuffed animal on his bed.

I am f*cking awesome!

A short but sweet blog this morning to start the weekend out right. I just got back from my weekly Weight Watchers weigh in and I am f*cking awesome!!! I have hit a major milestone today. I have lost 41.2 lbs! I've had a few weeks of big losses (like this week, with 3.4 lbs) and I've had some gains too. It's been a slow process but one full of successes! Even my underwear is too big for me now! *dances a jig*

Me want to bring the funny

Jenny Lane. Jenny, Jenny, Jenny to the Phil Lane.

This is my public apology for all of the times I've said I was disappointed. Or that your blogger blogs just aren't as funny as your myspace blogs once were. I want to apologize if I ever made you feel as though you were even a smidgen less funny than you actually are.

You see, I've come to realize something. I aspire to be Jenny Lane.

I want to be witty. I want to use my "clearly"ies and my unabashed witt to pen creative and engaging blogs. I want a name like Jenny Lane. I mean, that in and of itself is something for which you should be proud. Even what you had to go through to get it makes a good story! I just can't match up.

So this short but sweet public apology is only to say that I'm disappointed in ME. That my blogs - on blogger and on myspace - have never really been that funny. And that I bow down to you, oh queen of blogdom.

Home-based treasures you've moved 4 times!

There are small moments in our lives where we experience utter surprise and joy. They come at us when we least expect it and instantly put a smile on our faces. I had one such moment on Friday.

I had 3 disposable cameras that I never had developed. I knew where they came from. One was from a weekend trip last fall, another was a miscellaneous set of pictures from times when I forgot the digital, and the third was from my cousin's wedding....in 2004. Oi. So on Friday I had those pictures developed. As a looked through the packages, I saw things I had forgotten about. But my biggest surprise was in that third camera. It was not from my cousin's wedding as I originally thought. They were pictures of Dante (now 9) from 2002. Yes, 6 years ago. Yes, he was 3. Imagine my excitement and the flood of memories that happened as a result of finding these pictures!

So obviously I need to find a better, color, scanner. However, this will have to do for now. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

Kris

Ode to Duluth

Dear Duluth,

Oh how I love you. I love your steep hills that allow some geographical interest. I love your fancy shmancy neighborhoods as well as your questionable ghettos. I love the way you view yourself as supreme in comparison to your lacking neighbor, Superior. And this weekend I was able to, yet again, introduce you to some of my closest friends.

I want to thank you for the chilly Lake Superior breezes, the pot-holed lined streets, and your new waterpark. Here are some pictures that illustrate my love for you.

Special K

Look how excited we are to see you!

It may be breezy, but it's like air kisses!

We got a little tired and grumpy, but the good eats you provided made us happy to play once more!

We enjoyed the shore of Lake Superior, even if the waves startled and sprayed us as we took our pictures.

A Hannah Montana break was just what we needed to rejuvinate for another day!

Canal Park was a blast! We wish we could have seen a ship come into port.

We were sorry to leave you but boy, we're so tired!

Edumacation

I never much liked school. I never much hated it either. It was just a place I knew I had to go and so I went diligently. Once I got to high school, I enjoyed it a bit more. Not for the sake of learning, or the opportunity to mesh with society, but rather, for the extra-curricular activities. Man, I loved all that stuff that started after school.

I went to college because it never occurred to me not to. Seriously. For 18 years my parents had been talking to me as if college was a given and therefore I thought it was. But that's cool. I got it done in 4 years and slipped out with a job waiting for me.

Well, that job was in higher education.

And I can't pass up a bargain.

And so, I enrolled in a masters program because the price was juuuuust right. And that's cool. I did that too in record time. I was focused, I was smart (4.0 average baby!), and I figured that I had a ticket to more $$$.

But when that was finished I didn't know what to do with myself.

So I started a PhD program.

And that brings us to where I am today. I have one more course to take and then start the comprehensive exam and finally, the dissertation. I am aggressively working towards finishing the PhD in mid-2009. Wish me luck.

And when my "friends" and "family" tease me for having been in school...solidly...since I wobbled to the bus stop on my first day of kindergarten, I remind them that I may just get a law degree when I'm done with this.

Why not?

When it rains, it pours

I've had the Jetta for just over 6 years now. I love that car. It's fun to drive and it's "stick and move capability" is awesome. Or at least, was until about a month ago. The clutch started to give out. Initially it was subtle; just a slight revving every once in awhile. Then it grew worse. Soon, I couldn't drive it anymore. In case you didn't know, replacing a clutch on a late model European vehicle isn't exactly what one would call affordable. But anyway, I find a mechanic who does this type of thing on the side and then I find the part. Plan was to drive it down to his place (10-15 miles from our house) on Friday night and he would work on it over the weekend.

Adam drove the Jetta. Something about how he trusts his reflexes more than mine. Whatever, I tuned it out. I followed in his car; a '92 Mazda MX3. We're toodling along. Adam can't accelerate like any car other than a Metro so it's slow going but we're getting there. I'm continuously chanting "You can do it!" a la Rob Schneider. Unfortunately, the old girl couldn't do it. 5 miles out from our destination, we had to pull over and call a tow truck. Sweet. There goes another $70. We wait about an hour and a half and he shows, throws my baby on the bed (that sounds wrong), and off we go. 5 miles. Doh. We drop the Jetta off and happily celebrate that she is there and will be fixed soon!

So we start to toodle home. We make plans for dinner and a movie together; a quiet night at home. And then, the unthinkable happens.

Going 65 or 70 down highway 55, all of a sudden the Mazda FREAKS OUT! It's banging, clanking, throwing itself around, and grinding. So we pull over. Honestly, it sounded and felt like something was caught in the wheel well or some such thing. Adam gets out, looks underneath, doesn't see anything. Gets back in the car, starts her up and she purrs (loudly) like normal. Off we go again. 18.7 seconds later, it starts to freak out again. Pull over and repeat. This time when he starts it back up...well, it just wasn't a noise you'll find in nature.

So as the two of us sit, silently, at the side of highway 55 I'm sure you can imagine some of the thoughts playing in our heads. As well as the sailor-esque cussing that weaves its way through. We call the tow company...AGAIN...and line up a tow. Then comes the interesting predicament of not having a car for the weekend. So I call Mom and Dad. They're at Champps. Surprised? :) (I say that with love). Sure, they'll pick us up. Oh good idea, yes you can borrow the car for the weekend. And so we sit. It's about an hour before Mom, Dad, AND the tow truck show up at the same time. It was like a parade! When the guy gets out of the tow truck...wait for it...YES! It's the same guy that towed the Jetta! Sa-weeeet!

So I get the car from Mom and Dad, profusely thank them for their effort, and wait for the Mazda to get loaded. The tricky part about all of this is that we can't get a hold of the mechanic so now we're going to drop a second vehicle off to him, at his home, without talking to him. Take your manners lessons from me kids!

We get to Bob's (the mechanic) house and he's working on the Jetta...slightly stunned and I'd say not at all happy to see car #2 arrive. We get it off the bed and Bob starts 'er up. The look on that mans' face tells me that it was NOT GOOD. Luckily tow truck guy is a talker, so he's still chatting all of our ears off. Eventually it is determined that the engine is blown on the Mazda. Gone. Ran out of oil and imploded. At least 2k to fix it. We can't afford 2k. We can't afford 2k at all let alone for a car that's worth less than half of that in its current state. Tow truck guy turns to me and tells me he'll give me $200 for it right now. He'll haul it away this very minute.

You know how this ends. Between the $116 tow (yeah, I don't know why it was more than the Jetta either) and the $30 full tank of gas I put in it just hours before, we made $50 on the car last night. Poor Adam. That car was his baby. For as much and as viciously as I hated it, he loved it. And wanted to keep loving it forever.

So we are a one car family now for the foreseeable future. We've done it before and we'll be doing it again.

Hopefully the Jetta is in prime condition when we get her back this weekend.

Exercise? Me?

Whoa. A blog two days in a row. Whatever will you do?

In March, I embarked on this weight loss journey for the zillionth time (yes, that's an official count). I wasn't particularly motivated but my Mom was. Weekly we do the weigh in thing and reward ourselves (with Mom's credit card) when we hit exciting milestones. For the first couple of months I retained my sedentary lifestyle. You see, I had become so accustomed to Chipotle burritos and pizza rolls that the simple change of diet was enough to get the scale moving. After I had exhausted every excuse I could come up with for why I wasn't exercising, I started walking. It was simple, got me outside for the spring, and made my dog happy. And I did pretty well walking for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week. Okay, some weeks it was only once or twice. But hey! It was a start!

And then, about a month ago, dear old Mom struck again. She had stumbled upon a DVD that was a kick you in the pants kind of workout and claimed you could lose "up to 20 lbs in one month!" Hurray! So I went out and bought the damn thing. Lo and behold, Adam decided to do it with me also. So it's been nearly a month of this. The 20 lb claim was...well, you know. A lie. A bold-faced lie. But it just so happens that I've noticed something else. There is now definition in my calves where there once was none. When I flex my arms the muscles may not be visible to the naked eye but there's a little bump of something in there when you squeeze! And this is pretty exciting in and of itself.

Today, for the very first time I worked out twice in one day. I did the aforementioned DVD and this evening, itching to do something, I took the dog for a walk. It was a short one. Nothing to celebrate. In fact, the only reason I didn't go farther/longer was because it was late and dark and neither Zeus nor I had any reflective gear on. In the interest of safety, we headed home.

This is a pretty big accomplishment for a girl who not all that long ago, found carrying baskets of clothes up and downstairs a rather taxing exercise. 35 lbs later, I'd say Mom had a pretty good idea. And now when I shop for dog food and grunt to lift the bag, I'm reminded that I used to carry that around alllll the time.

Yay me!

The incredible sewing experience

With Adam working at the Rennaissance Festival every weekend, it is important that he still get to spend time with Dante on those weekends he is with us. In order to allow for both (at the request of Dante as well, mind you) it was decided that Dante needed a costume. You see, you can't sit in the booth without a costume. Well, in my opinion costumes are extremely expensive out at the festival. Enter the internet pattern. Adam decides that he is going to sew a tunic for Dante. Here are just a few tidbits from the experience that made me laugh SO HARD.

• Upon taking Dante's measurements and utilizing the online form for the pattern, Adam announces that we need 67 yards of fabric. For a tunic. For a 9 year old boy.
• Knowing it will pose a challenge, I thread the machine for him. I mean, the man hasn't used a sewing machine since Home Ec and the pillow-making assignment.
• While I'm threading, Adam is cutting fabric. Not with a round pizza-like cutter (to ensure straight lines) or even along a straight-edge. My husband is using regular scissors with a measuring tape sitting across the table. You don't need me to tell you how those pieces looked when he was finished.
• Shortly into sewing, I hear "It broke" in the most forlorn and mouse-like voice ever. Upon checking it out, I discover the thread came out of the needle and the machine needs to be re-threaded. This is also the point in time that I discover that Adam has forgotten how to sew two pieces of fabric together. Instead of placing one on top of the other, he is sewing them together much like an open book. Proceed to seam ripping and re-do.
• Later, things are quiet and so I decide to just peek in. I see Adam, sitting in front of the sewing machine, and slowly taking it apart. It appears that the thread from the bobbin is no longer outside of the machine and he felt it was probably necessary to take apart the bottom of the machine in order to fix this. 15 minutes later, and the pieces put back together, I'm able to pull the bobbin thread back out. This is where I decide that I will do the sewing.

All in all, the tunic is a piece of crap. No really. It's longer in the front than it is in the back and based on how the pieces were cut and then sewn, that means there's bunching right around Dante's chest. The sleeves are magically long enough (just barely) too.

I'm not sure how long Dante wore it today. They both claim that he did.

If nothing else, I believe my husband has greater appreciation for my quilting efforts.

And I got an ab workout from all of the laughter. :)