Girl meets boy, boy is old, mean aunt and uncle break up boy and girl

Life is never dull with a teenager in the house. Jasmine is a sweet, caring, intelligent, and funny young woman. In a very short span of time (a month?) she has shown that she is incredibly insightful and is far smarter than what she has led her teachers and grandparents to believe. I say all of this to offset the times when I could literally pick her up and wring her neck! Oh don't get me wrong. I fully understand and appreciate that life is tough when you're a 15 year old girl. Because for those of you who don't know, I was one of those too. And she's in love. Remember 15 year old, head-over-heels, die-without-you love? I do. And so I understand why she was hysterical when she was banned...again...from the object of her affection. See, Adam and I aren't stupid. But the fact remains that we were trying to give Jasmine the benefit of the doubt and she kept pushing and pushing and telling so many lies that it came to a head last night.

We met with her teachers in the afternoon to find out how she was doing and what still needed to get done this school year. All in all, it was a positive visit. They have seen a marked improvement in her grades, participation, and overall demeanor. I would say that's the definition of success! Towards the end of the meeting I decided to ask them if they knew about her friend Ricky. We have been very suspicious of "Ricky" for various reasons. He came out of nowhere and was now "using" the phone of her ex-boyfriend (the 20 year old). When I had asked her grandmother about him the previous day, she hadn't heard of him. The teachers hadn't either. So when we got home I asked her about Ricky and how she met him and she continued her lie so Adam proceeded to call Jasmine's Mom. While not able to raise Jasmine and act as a mother, Jasmine tells Mary everything. And Mary confirmed that "Ricky" was indeed the 20 year old boyfriend as we suspected.

I'm sure you don't need the details of what happened after that. Heated discussions, fighting, tears, threats, etc. I tried to reason with Jasmine; to explain to her why a 20 year old shouldn't be with a 15 year old. I tried to relate to her; to explain that I too, at 15, was utterly in love with a 19/20 year old. None of this worked. We're relatively certain she, and he, already have plans for how they will talk to and see one another.

Maybe we'll get a day or two of peace before all hell breaks loose again.

Stupid #$%@ cashiers...

Short post tonight. Earlier in the day Adam and I piled the kids (Jazzy, Dante, and Sophia) into the car to head to the zoo. Never mind the fact that the zoo was so packed, we couldn't get a parking spot and ended up going straight home. Totally dumb. Anyway, on the way out, we stop for gas. I go in with my trusty coupon (courtesy of Cub) and decide to purchase drinks and candy for the kidlets because I'm cool like that. Allow me to replay for you the conversation between myself and the cashier.

Kris: *piles 4 drinks and 2 packages of candy on the counter*
Cashier: *under his breath* Hmm....you have a sweet tooth.
Kris: Well, I have 3 kids in the car.
Cashier: Oh you DO, huh?

Um, excuse me? Do I need snide remarks from a cashier at Holiday? I don't think so! What an ass.

So today was our 6th anniversary. It was a beautiful day spent with the kids and Adam started building me flower boxes! Hurray! I'm such a lucky girl. :)

The 5k, the big 3-0, and other such happenings

I am sorely behind in chronicling my experience at finishing my first 5k. Adam, my Mom, Kari, Eli, Phillio, and Princess ran, walked, and wogged the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure on Sunday, May 10th. Adam and I were the "woggers" although it was more walking than jogging. Seeing as how the training was nonexistent, I had to accept my own limitations. However, I finished it and that's what I was aiming for. AND I did it in less time than I had hoped! So all in all, not a lot to complain about. The race was huge - about 50,000 people - so I didn't really like how crowded it was but at least that meant that there were plenty of people behind me! The race was on Mother's Day so I think she was sufficiently pleased to be doing a 5k with her daughters so there was a bonus! I remember way back when, she would sign us up for "fun runs" and really wanted us to get into it. Neither of us did. The day after the race, my parents found out that a friend of theirs had just been diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. Caught very early, there's no doubt that she will kick it. But it was very poignant and made my Mom very glad we chose that race.

On Monday, I will turn 30. I won't have completed my list but I'll have gotten closer to having done some things I really wanted to do and made a little bit of progress to improving myself. So I'm satisfied. I always find it ridiculous when people say that they have "no regrets" about their lives or decisions they've made. I don't believe them...sorry if you're one of them. I don't beat myself up everyday over the mistakes that I've made but I also wish things would have been different. So now at 30 I can say that despite my mistakes and regrets, I'm pretty proud of myself. And hell, I've got decades to try and get it right! :) Saturday night I will be surrounded by friends and family to celebrate my birthday. I'm looking forward to that and a big piece of cake.

Things are going well with our niece. We've had a few rough nights of fights and disagreements but she's still chugging away on her schoolwork. Maybe we'll get her pass the 9th grade. :)

So for those of you who are new and old friends and family, I <3 you. Thanks for being in my life and bringing to it that something special. I'm truly blessed.

Home alone!

For the first time in two weeks, Adam and I are home alone in our new place of residence. Dante isn't with us this weekend and Jasmine is off with my in laws for a weekend of...staring at the wall. We could have kept her for the weekend but we're still getting used to this full-time parenting thing and we need some time for the quiet and each other. I feel a little bad saying that but there it is. I suspect we'll get more and more used to this life now that we're in it.

My MIL came to pick Jasmine up this afternoon. Prior to her arrival, Jazzy and Adam had a nice long talk about life, boys, and growing up. From what I hear, it was a great opportunity and they covered a lot of ground. By the time the MIL showed up, Jazzy was packed up and ready to go for the weekend. We already knew she wasn't overly thrilled since she thinks it's boring to be with them but she was in pretty high spirits. Upon first seeing Jazzy, my MIL immediately started in on her about the necklace she was wearing (the 20 year old ex-boyfriends necklace) and from then on, things were not so happy between them. In fact, I rarely see two people so unexcited to spend a weekend together. When Adam brought out Adam's homework and started going through what needed to be done this weekend for MILs benefit, it was met with a little sneer and whiny "But it's the weekend. I don't want to do any homework." This from my MIL. Jazzy didn't complain. But she does. Here in lies the problem folks. Why in the world would she be so unwilling to help her granddaughter pass the 9th grade? The only thing I can figure is that it was a response to the fact that she has a history of having major fights with Jazzy where homework is involved. Understandable but still not okay. So, we gave Jazzy the direction we know she needs and we gave MIL the direction we hope she uses and now we just cross our fingers.

So on tap this weekend are a few things. We certainly won't be sitting on the couch watching movies and eating ice cream. Tomorrow we'll be working lots on the bathroom with hopefully finishing mudding and then sanding and hopefully we'll at least get a coat of primer on the walls. I was hoping to get the painting done too but I'm losing my optimism. Sunday we "run" our 5k and then do Mother's Day celebrations with my Grandma and Mom, and then with the MIL. Upon returning Sunday night, we'll have Jazzy in tow. Hopefully her homework is done.

Maystones

I'm copying Phil. Most of you know this because no doubt you've already read her blog. I loved so much hearing about all of her milestones in the month of June, I thought it was time to describe what I fondly refer to as "the month of Kris." The rest of you may know it as May.

May 10th - Mother's Day. No, I haven't birthed any biological babies but I've been a step mom for 7 years now so I figure I can claim the day.

May 18th - Celebrating 30 years of "being alive" as it was so eloquently stated by the Lanemiester (How do we feel about that nickname? Will it catch on?).

May 24th - Celebrating 6 years of not killing each other. That is, Adam and I will celebrate our 6th anniversary. How the hell did that happen?

And if you'll humor me just a tad (again, to copy the Lanemiester), on June 4th, I will celebrate (?) eight years with Capella. Eight official years that is. If you count my contracting time, I'll be halfway to 9. How did THAT happen?

It's no wonder I love spring. :)

Hmmm....full-time parenting

So not only did we move in the past two weeks but we took our 15 year old niece into our home for the next 4-5 weeks while she finishes out the school year. Seeing as how she currently resides with my in-laws and we moved into their old place, she doesn't need to switch schools at the very end of the year. This all started on Sunday night. Jasmine (Jazzy as she likes to be called) has had a rough life...no doubt about it. Long, long story short, Jazzy's father (my brother-in-law) is in and out of jail/prison with a drug problem. Her mother abused and neglected her as a child before she was taken away by Child Protective Services when she was 3. Jazzy still talks to her but her mother still isn't capable of taking care of anyone.

Enter Adam and Kris, stage right. We're hoping we can have some sort of impact on her life over the next month. Probably wishful thinking but it's worth a try. I would like to regale you with an overview of our first 4 days together...

Monday - Jasmine's first day ever of having to get herself out of bed and out the door to school. I'm off work but I dropped Adam off at school and headed straight to Eagan to clean the old place after we moved all of our crap out. I call Jasmine to make sure she's up (which she is) and remind her to put the dogs in their kennels and lock the handle on the front door as she leaves. At approximately 7:40, already in Eagan, already having vacuumed a couple rooms, I notice I missed some calls. It is Jasmine. She has locked herself out of the house with no socks on and has now missed the bus. I hop in the car and drive allll the way back to SLP (pissed as all hell) only to arrive and discover OH MY DEAR GOD THE KEYS I WAS GIVEN DON'T WORK ON EITHER LOCK TO EITHER DOOR!!!! So I proceed to dump her in the car (ranting and raving the entire time) and head to Adam's school. Because folks, Adam wasn't answering his phone. It was charging in his locker while he was welding. Upon arriving at school, I march into the Weld lab and complete confuse him and at least one other random guy. I get his set of keys and head back to SLP where we did indeed get in the house and were greeted by two dogs who were thrilled we were home! So I get her to school, nearly an hour late.

Tuesday - I'm still off work, trying to get everything cleaned in one place and just making everything dirtier in the other. Jasmine calls me from school and leaves me a voice mail about wanting to go to Applebee's with her friend after school to celebrate the friend's birthday. "They'll pay for me and drive me home!" and all I need to do is call the school back and leave a message and they'll tell her if she can go or not. Being the totally awesome aunt, I decide I'm going to let her go. For those of you keeping track, this is my first mistake. So I call the school and say that I'm returning a call from Jasmine. They proceed to pull Jasmine out of class in order to take my call. I'm so not OK with this. In any event, I tell her she can go, that I want her home by 7 and if she's going to be late, to call me. A couple hours later, I get another call from Jasmine. Wait, they won't bring her home so I'll have to pick her up. I ask where this friend lives. Wait for them - here come mistakes 2, 3, and 4. This friend lives in North Minneapolis so I say ok (#2), I don't ask for a number for this friend (#3), and I tell her she needs to call me by 8pm (#4 for assuming it will happen). She doesn't call until 9:15 after I have strung myself out with worry and spastic-ness. Suffice it to say, I now know a little bit more about handling a 15 year old.

Wednesday - "Can I check my Myspace?" is the line we hear most often. She doesn't have access to a computer without permission which I am A-OK with. So she has to ask. Upon giving her permission to check Myspace, we discover that she is still in contact with the 20 year old ex/boyfriend she is no longer permitted to see or talk to. She has the audacity to claim that she thought she just wasn't allowed to talk on the phone with him! "It's just on Myspace, it doesn't count!"

Thursday - Parent teacher conferences at Jasmine's school. We insert ourselves since we're responsible for her for the next month. She hasn't done a single assignment in a single class so far this quarter and the previous two were similar. (Where the hell were my in-laws?) She's in danger of not passing the 9th grade. So, we got copies of her work and are now going to step her through each assignment in each class and get her caught up.

So there you have it. Just 4 full days with Jasmine and our lives are turned upside down. However, there's a chance that she's learning things as we go so I'm holding out hope for this one. I'd like to think that I could make a difference in her life. In fact, I know I can if she meets me half way.

Moving

This post is a little late but at least I'm getting to it now. Last week we moved into the in-laws house. No, we're not living with them...just renting from them. They bought a bigger, shinier house on the opposite end of the twin cities and we agreed to be their renters for the foreseeable future on the old house.

Certain deals were struck prior to the move date and one such deal was the complete gutting and redesign of the bathroom. It was in rough shape. There was still wallpaper on the walls from when they bought the place 13ish years ago. The tub and surround were stained by hard water and rust from the pipes. The toilet never fully flushed and always left "surprises" to be found later. So the agreement was that while they would fit the bill for the bathroom, we (aka Adam) would do the work. And start he did!!! We had approximately two weeks between when they moved out and we moved in to get the work done. This is key as this is the only bathroom in the house. Upon removing the surround and wallpaper, it was discovered that there was mold...a lot of it. Half of the Sheetrock had to be removed and there was mold on the studs. As I was scrubbing the studs down, my mother-in-law looking over my shoulder, she says, "You know, a few months ago, I told Michael I could have sworn there was mold in here." Really? You suspected this months ago and didn't do anything about it? This is supposed to be helpful to me as I wonder if we're going to compromise our health by living here? Thank you oh so much. So once those were scrubbed down and the plumbing was replaced (to go from 2 knobs to one), waterboard and sheetrock were put up. But in the midst of all of this, my wonderful husband put in a new toilet and tiled the floor. It's not done yet. Mudding is not complete so of course painting isn't either. The surround needs another layer of caulk. The sink isn't in yet. But we're getting there. At least we can shower and potty. I call that a win!

In the midst of all of this, other things were taking place. For example, the pink carpeting (truly, it was pink) was replaced with a nice dark taupe color (perfect for hiding black dog fur). The kitchen faucet, which could only manage a weak dribble of water, was being cleaned out and drilled in order to provide some actual water pressure. Oh yeah...and our current home was being packed up, organized, and cleaned by yours truly.

Moving day went off without a hitch. In fact, it was impressive. Eight of our most wonderful friends and family converged on the townhouse on Saturday morning. 3 hours later we were fully moved and unloaded in the house. Mind you, that first hour was only J&J to whom I'm eternally indebted...or at least until they get their house and I move them. :)

We are now moved though far from settled. The bathroom isn't done yet, there is the most atrocious peachy pink flowered wallpaper up in our bedroom, and a slew of other fun projects yet to be undertaken. I need to prioritize. At some point, maybe I'll even post some pictures.