I have a sadness I just can't shake. Family is of the utmost importance to me. As Adam can attest, I put a lot of energy into maintaining old traditions and starting new ones. I like to celebrate birthdays and find reasons to get a family together. There can be official reasons (holidays) or unofficial reasons (Wednesdays). And part of bringing this sweet baby into the world is to add to our family. I have so been looking forward to being able to not only love my daughter but to watch other people love her too. To watch her forge relationships with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our friends. To watch her become her own person and to see how she fits into this big family puzzle.
But I'm sad because it just doesn't feel like any of that right now.
A baby should be welcomed into the world with joy and love and excitement. I believe that a family should be pulled almost magnetically to that baby to love her and fawn over her and to fold her into their lives so completely.
With her arrival mere days away, I am overcome with sadness that instead, she'll be welcomed and loved by only a portion of her family. That her father and I will undoubtedly be partially at fault for this though I'm not sure that I am willing to make the sacrifices necessary to change that.
Time heals all wounds, as they say.
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Your sad is realistically justified. However I want to remind you even if she doesn't get loved by all her family, that she will be loved by the people who are supposed to be her 'family'. In our case I still can't wrap my head around why certain blood relatives choose to not be part of our girls' life. But it's all good cause I'm kinda greedy with her hugs.
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