The (almost) first 6 months

Dear Lucy,

My goodness!  Nearly 6 months old already.  I have no idea how this happened but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with super powers and your dad's love of geeky sci fi shows.

But alas, we're careening towards a major milestone and I thought it might be a good idea to take a look back at the first 6 months of your life.

I should preface any and all stories with the disclaimer that you have been the best baby ever.  Truly.  You started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, you're too lazy to cry, and you like to observe new places and faces so you're always game for an outing (as long as you don't need to spend too much time in your car seat).  So when I laugh at with you, please remember that I consider myself incredibly lucky to be raising such a pleasant, fun baby.

We've learned a lot about you over the past 6 months.  You're a happy girl who loves everybody but especially your dad.  You smile a lot and love to have someone nom on your cheeks, tummy, legs, etc.  Whenever someone gets close to your face, you open your mouth wide with a devilish look on your face.  This is adorable but something I wish you'd do less often with your dogs.

Speaking of your dogs.  You think they're pretty awesome.  Sometimes you seem to know and recognize them and other times you look confused or surprised by them.  Their wrestling and growling often brings a smile to your face.  Just a few days ago I caught you petting Tuck and him giving you a little kiss on your hand.

You hate to lay down.  You are an active participant in the world and it frustrates you when we forget that.  Your Bumbo has been one of your favorite contraptions for a long time simply because it allows you to sit up like everybody else.

You like soft things like blankets, burp cloths, and soft toys.  You want to suck on them constantly.  You rejected the pacifier but you're just as soothed by fabric of some sort.

At nearly 6 months of age, you still don't roll over.  I try not to worry because I'm pretty sure you can and just don't want to.  You'll flip to your side from both your tummy and your back but you won't bother going the rest of the way.  Your dad and I joke that you'll be walking before you roll over because...

You're really getting into standing and jumping.  Your legs are strong and you like the new vantage point that comes with standing.  You're showing signs of being a bit of a daredevil because you like to be held up high over our heads.  Your dad is looking forward to throwing you in the air when you get a little bigger!

Generally speaking, napping doesn't interest you.  You'll take a couple 30 minute cat naps during the day but you make up for this by sleeping 10+ hours a night.  Your father and I thank you for that, by the way.  Mornings are my favorite time of day because you're just so happy to be alive!  You smile and cuddle and remind us how lucky we are.

You're a pro at cereals.  In fact, a couple spoonfuls into your first feeding and your dad and I were very impressed.  You prefer rice cereal though we're trying to get more oatmeal into you.  Your dad is getting excited to start you on some veggies but I prefer to wait just a little bit longer.  You seem bored by the bottle but there's no way you could handle a sippy cup.

And your hair.  Oh all the hair.  By 4 months old we could do a pigtail at the top of your head.  Shortly thereafter we could do two!  It's your trademark and everyone loves it.  Your Nana keeps saying you need a hair cut and while I agree, I can't bring myself to do it.

You see your Nana and Papa Luopa every Friday with your dad.  You play games and visit.  They enjoy having that special time with you.  You see your Nana and Papa Petrie every Saturday and they like to play games and rough house with you a bit (especially your Nana!).  Everybody loves you so much!

While mom goes to work, you stay home with your dad.  You keep him busy with playing, eating, reading books, and walking through the house.  He loves that time at home with you and I know that you feel the same.  It's hard for me to leave in the morning but I like knowing that you two are home together.

You've grown up so much in such a short time.  You have a new trick everyday and it's been a lot of fun to be a participant in your life.  I still tear up when I think of how badly we wanted you and how blessed we are to have those particular prayers answered.  I promise to keep trying to document as much of this as possible if you promise to slow it all down a little bit.  Deal?

Love,
Mom

Living with baby

It's been 5 months of bottles, dirty diapers, baths, laundry, smiles, giggles, drool, and love.  5 months.  A complete whirlwind.  And clearly I'm horrible at documenting the most important time in my life. 

I have loved every minute.

I've loved:

• how she would stretch her neck those first few weeks; the way she'd set her jaw and her chin would jut out.
• how she'd mimic you when you stuck your tongue out at her.
• her smiles when you first peer at her over the side of her crib in the morning.
• the way her hair poofs up in the back regardless of how you comb it.
• the way she grins adoringly at her dad.
• the way she grins adoringly at her brother.
• the way she grins adoringly at me.
• the hours upon hours she sleeps at night.
• her teeny tiny hands and teeny tiny feet.
• pigtails at the top of her head.
• feet in the mouth.
• her apparent love of the songs "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" and (of course) the Minnesota Rouser.
• the excited grinning I receive when I get home from work.

I wish I would have taken the time to document these things for her.  To write the stories down so that one day she could look back and read them.  I'm committing to doing more of that.  I'd also like to take more pictures of her too.  :)

I would wake up over and over if it were always like this

Last night we attempted, for the first time, to establish a bedtime routine for Miss Lucy.  Up until now, Lucy has set the schedule for the day - when she eats, when she sleeps, when she plays.  And that was fine seeing as how she was an itty bitty in need of learning how to function in the outside world.  But now that we're halfway through my maternity leave (OMG!), it's time to start trying to put together something that's slightly more consistent.

So last night I gave her a warm bath, dressed her in her jammies and handed her to Adam for a bottle.  Afterwards a drowsy baby was swaddled and put into her crib for the first time (at night) and lulled to sleep by the sounds of the Baby Einstein aquarium.  And she slept.  For 6+ hours.  By the time she woke up I was slumbering away so Adam was the one to do the middle of the night feeding and apparently she had a hard time going back to sleep and was up for 3+ hours before going back to bed in her crib.

Which is where I found her in the morning.  At 10:15.  I heard her stirring (I woke up before my baby!) so I went into her room, peered over her crib, and was rewarded with some huge smiles!  Lucy looked up at me with her eyes wide open and gummy smiles as if to say "Hey Mom!  I'm so glad you're here!"  I melted right then and there.

She's growing so fast!  We're connecting more each day and it's awesome.  I'm already dreading going back to work.

How far we've come

Yesterday I found myself at the doctor's office.  11 days postpartum and all was not well with the lady bits.  The equation is simple.  Epidural + catheter = urinary tract infection.  Awesome.  However, that's neither here nor there.  I was unable to get in with my doctor but when I caught a glimpse of him down the hall, I found myself seized with an odd sense of affection for the man.  I wasn't expecting it and it took me awhile to put my finger on it.

He delivered my baby girl.  He cared for us both for 40 long weeks and then safely and uneventfully brought her into the world.  In that single moment, I really truly appreciated all of the wonderful things he does for women and their families everyday.

But that isn't all.

I was thrown back a year plus to sitting in one of those little exam rooms with him.  I'd sit on the table while he poured over my chart trying to determine whether the dosage this cycle was right and what he should prescribe for the next.  Because it still hadn't worked.  I still wasn't pregnant.  On February 17th I sat with him following this ritual we had gone through so many times before.  After talking through my options (if this cycle didn't work, he'd refer me to someone who could do more to help me conceive), he patted my knee, handed me a prescription and said "Come back pregnant.  Don't let me down."  I chuckled but teared up as I left the office.  One month later, I finally got a positive pregnancy test and life as we know it changed.

All of that came flooding back in the mere seconds I saw him down the hall.  And now I wonder whether he realizes what great work he does on a daily basis.

Thanks, Dr. W.

True love

I'm in love with a little someone special.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Every year I do a cheesy post listing all of the things I'm thankful for during this holiday season (and all year long, of course).  In light of my newest blessing, it seemed absolutely necessary to do a list again this year.

(Forgive me for not doing a "omgshe'shereandbeautifulandIlovesherandwanttosharethestoryofherbirth" post yet.  It's coming.)


1. Lucy.  My beautiful, absolutely perfect blessing of a little girl.  Someone for whom I waited years and years to meet and to hold.  I am blessed with every cry, diaper change, snuggle and more.  I love her more every minute of every day.

2. Adam.  The man who takes care of me and now for blessing #1.  The one I giggle with, cry with, and celebrate with.  I didn't think I could love him any more but then I saw him with his daughter and that all changed.

3. Family.  A big catch all for a whole lot of people.  People who love me and mine and who share their lives with us.  I love sharing my life with you.

4. Friends.  I feel so many friendships - new and old - were strengthened this year.  I can't wait to continue the journey.

5. The future.  So much seems possible.  So much more seems exciting.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I haz a sad

I have a sadness I just can't shake.  Family is of the utmost importance to me.  As Adam can attest, I put a lot of energy into maintaining old traditions and starting new ones.  I like to celebrate birthdays and find reasons to get a family together.  There can be official reasons (holidays) or unofficial reasons (Wednesdays).  And part of bringing this sweet baby into the world is to add to our family.  I have so been looking forward to being able to not only love my daughter but to watch other people love her too.  To watch her forge relationships with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and our friends.  To watch her become her own person and to see how she fits into this big family puzzle.

But I'm sad because it just doesn't feel like any of that right now.

A baby should be welcomed into the world with joy and love and excitement.  I believe that a family should be pulled almost magnetically to that baby to love her and fawn over her and to fold her into their lives so completely.

With her arrival mere days away, I am overcome with sadness that instead, she'll be welcomed and loved by only a portion of her family.  That her father and I will undoubtedly be partially at fault for this though I'm not sure that I am willing to make the sacrifices necessary to change that.

Time heals all wounds, as they say.